The Personality Tests

Yesterday I took a second profile test, called the Kolbe A Index, for a potential job .  My possible employer voiced her concerns with my previous personality test results because I scored very low in speed while completing a task.  Ugh.  I can finish quickly, but I need to be completely informed before I do.  I can't jump into a task that I have never completed before and manage to complete it in record time.  I need facts!  I need expectations!  I need comparisons! I've always felt like this is a huge fault in my personality.  I'm the worst!  If only I could explain myself to a personality test.

I put off taking the Kolbe A Index because I didn't want me or my potential employers to see the results. I knew that it was probably not going to be the answers I needed to get the job.  It was just going to be a confirmation in my head: Nope. You don't fit in this workplace either.

Turns out the test had only thirty-six questions.  I was expecting one-hundred plus.  It still took me a bit to finish.  I analyzed each question, trying to put myself in a real life situation and answer with complete truthfulness.  When I finished, the results were expected.  What wasn't expected was the woman who explained what the results meant.

Kathy Kolbe, the creator of the Kolbe Index Test, narrated the results of the test which were in a slideshow format.  Four bars showed up on the second slide.  I didn't even know exactly what the bars meant, but it probably wasn't what I wanted. For one, the third bar in the row was labeled "Quick Start", and I scored a three. Quick: an adjective I scored low on a previous test.... thing are not looking up.  Kathy Kolbe's voice then began explaining my what the Kolbe A Index was from the slideshow.

"The Kolbe A Index is an instrument designed to help you focus on your strengths on how you do things when you're free to do them your own way.  ... Where ever you are is just fine for you, just great, because there's no good-or-bad, right-or-wrong..."

Yeah, okay Kathy.  Except there is a right or wrong answer, and if it's the wrong one it costs me a job.

"...Who you are is who you were meant to be..."

I know, and it's kind of a downer because employers don't want to hire me because of it.

Then Kathy Kolbe's calm, soothing voice began explaining my Kolbe A Index results on my screen.  She narrated the slideshow in such a way that it felt like she was talking directly to me, and I started to slowly feel better about my results.  My feeling towards the test began to soften, though I was still disappointed that I rated so low on "Quick Start".  As Kathy explained my results on one of the continuum's, she said something that a person in my position needed to hear.  In her beautifully comforting voice, Kathy Kolbe said:

"I am so glad there are people like you in the world..."

My throat swelled, and my vision went blurry as a single tear pooled under my eye.

Kathy Kolbe, you flattering dog!

This whole time, I have felt like I need to change myself to what a company needs, but really I just need to find a company that can use my strengths. I do have strengths in my personality and my strengths are needed.  The right company will see that.

Are you dying from corniness overload?

The Multitude of Rejections

Rejection emails are appreciated in my book. It's a confirmation that I did not get the job. I can stop hoping, the decision has been made. Most every job I have interviewed for has sent me a rejection email or given a call, and every time I feel a sense of closure once the email is read or the call is taken. Now, when I am given two or more rejection notices for the same job... well, that just makes me feel like a failure.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I applied to a grant writing position about a year ago which I didn't get. I applied to the exact same position a few weeks ago when the position was posted on a job site. I was called in for an interview after a phone interview. The interviewers said they remembered me and my application has changed so little since the last time I applied. I have altered some things, but nothing has drastically changed. I have the same experience in writing as I did a year ago. I was pretty sure they just wanted some confirmation that I was the right person for the job.

The interview went well, besides a hiccup or two. I was confident as I walked out to my car. A week or so later I received a rejection email...

Dear Amber,

Thank you for applying to [Organization]. [Organization] is fortunate to have many qualified candidates apply to each of our positions and we regret to inform you that the Grant Writer position is now filled. We encourage you to apply for any other openings that are of interest to you now or in the future. Good luck in your job search and thank you again for your interest in our [Organization].

Sincerely, Human Resources 

...and a day after that, another rejection email from the organization reading the exact same thing...

Dear Amber,

Thank you for interviewing with us for the [Organization] Grant Writer.  We are fortunate to have many qualified candidates apply to each of our positions.  We have reviewed the qualifications of each candidate, and, after careful consideration, we have determined that other candidates better fit our needs at this time. 

Sincerely, Human Resources

Sheesh, I get it! I didn't get the job. I'm half waiting for a third email to come in:

Dear Amber,  

Thank you for applying once again to [Organization].  Unfortunately, your personality has not changed as much as we thought it would in a years time.  You are still not a good fit with [Organization].  Maybe stop trying.  

Sincerely, Human Resources 

I had a similar experience with another company to which I have applied to 3 times.  Did you catch that? 3.  Each time I applied, I received the exact same reject email.  The third time, it seemed like I received the rejection email a bit quicker than usual.  I imagine that this specific company now sees my resume and says, "OMG, it's this Amber girl AGAIN. Get a hint, Amber!" [Sends rejection email template with the push of a button].

I still stand by my appreciation of reject emails and/or calls.  They're rough to take sometimes, but they are welcomed.

The Technical Writer Job

I had another interview on Friday, but I feel like I'm starting to lose my exuberance in this chase. The interview went surprisingly well. They really seemed to like me and they kept reiterating how I seemed to be the perfect fit for this particular job. I'm not sure why, but I feel pessimistic.

I feel exhausted with this whole process from all of these "no"s I keep being given. I used to get excited for any interview I was given, and even if I could tell that I was not going to fit with the company I interviewed for, I would tell myself, "At least I got experience in interviewing." I don't want to tell myself that anymore. I want to have a career. I don't feel like I need to receive any more experience in interviewing. If I go to an interview now and find out that they want much more experience than what I have, I get resentful. I try not to be, but I feel like my time is being wasted. I sent my resume to show what my qualifications and experience are, so it surprises me that when the interviewers narrow their candidates after interviewing for a job, I am cut because I don't have the experience. Can't that be seen in my resume?

I've had a few interviews in the past that I felt went really well, but then I didn't get the job. Maybe I just don't know how a good interview goes yet? Maybe the interviews that I see that have gone well really are only slightly better than the bad ones, but still not great.

The Part-Time Grant Writing Job

I just got off the phone with a company who is hiring for a part time grant-writer! Woo!

I actually applied to this company almost a year ago for a full-time grant writing position and had an in person interview.  I thought it went really well, minus a few of my own random diarrhea of the mouth regrets.  After the interview, they emailed me a week or so later to tell me that they decided to hire a candidate with more experience.  When I saw the post a few days ago for the part-time position at this same company, I was a little apprehensive in applying.  I felt like they'd look at my application and say, "Ugh.  The no experience girl again? Pft" [tosses application in a wired trash bin].  My guy was the one who convinced me to apply.  "It's part-time," he said, "so I'm sure it is more of an entry level position."  I had my doubts, but the guy was right!

It was a phone interview, but they didn't ask many questions about myself because they said they remembered me from last time.  I think that's a good thing... I hope.  The two interviewers mostly just explained the position to me in deeper detail.  I did mention that I started blogging (anything helps, right?) and that I have been teaching myself other programs to expand my skills for the workforce.

I should take this time to mention that yesterday my phone had a freak out moment while I was talking on the phone to a friend.  It went all zombie-monster and suddenly all I could hear was my friend growling that she wanted to eat my brains. The sound was a mix between television static and a starving monster.  The sound wouldn't stop, so I was forced to hang up on my friend and continue our conversation through Facebook message.

Of course the monster sound would happen on my phone interview.  Of course it would. I was trying to sound upbeat and happy as I'm answering the interviewer's questions, so I'm hoping they are picturing me on the other line like this:

  But because of the crazy monster sound that ensued, they may have pictured me instead like this:

The good part is that the sound happened literally at the end of the phone call. They said "Well, thank you so much for accommodating this spur of the moment call, Amber."  And I said, "Yes! Thank you so much for thinking of me and including me in your interviewing process!"  And they said, "GAAAAKurrrrrrBLeerrrrrrgiwanttoeatyourbrainskurrrrrrr." And I said, "Ha ha ha, okay great, hope to hear from you soon, bye bye."

I'm not sure how I could have changed the outcome to this one...  Maybe I should have said something like, "I'm sorry! My phone is acting up and I can't hear you!  I'll have to let you go!  I hope to hear from you soon!" .... yep.  That sounds way better than what I did.

We will see how this one pans out.

The Proofreading Job

Yesterday I received a message from a staffing agency saying that I qualified for a job I applied to just two days ago.  Sah weeeeeet!!!  I called them back promptly and was transferred to a woman who informed me that since the job I was applying for required much more experience than what I had, they needed me to take a skills test as well as provide them with a few professional references.

Had the professional references on hand already. Boom.  Taken care of like a pro.  Now for the test.  I suck at tests. I suck real good.  This is pounding through my head as I go to the testing site, but I remind myself : I know this stuff.  I majored in this subject.  And then I looked in the mirror and said, "You are a strong, confidant woman..." No.  I didn't have a mirror.

The test is broken up into categories:  Word, Grammar, Markup, Spelling, and Typing.  Psh.  Word.  I use Word everyday!  I polish my resume up regularly.  It's beautiful and what program is to thank for that? Word.  And my expertise of Word, of course.

I may think that I am amazing with programs because I compare myself to my mom.

I can point out an icon to you anytime, anywhere.  You name the place and time.  I'll do it.  Obviously, I'm a Word expert.  

Turns out I'm not.  I think I may have gotten six right on a test of thirty questions.  In my defense, the questions were things which I have done very little of.  You know, things I would be doing in an actually job.  The things interviewers are looking for me to be good at.  The things that if I'm not good at, a job will certainly pass me by.  I think they did.

Once I finished all categories of the test, I realized I had an email from the woman who had asked for the references.  It read:

"Amber,  Do you have any letters of recommendation, or anyone from your internship, or professors, etc?  Essentially we are looking for at least 1 or 2 of your references to be someone that you reported to, either a manager/supervisor, etc..."

Of course that's what they wanted.  Of course it is! I gave them four references with two of them being my past managers, but I labeled them "past co-worker".  Why?  Dumb.  Just chalk that up to the mistakes I made in this chase.  As I'm typing a responding email, all I can think of as I am typing is that these people are looking at my test results.  That coupled with my lame references,  I pictured in my mind that they are doing this:

They haven't called.  

To avoid this for next time, my plan of action:

• Get a letter of recommendation from a past teacher or boss
• Be specific when referring to my relationship with my references
• Play around with other parts of Word, such as Table of Contents and charts
• Don't suck

On The Job Chase

I graduated in December 2011 with my Bachelors in English with an emphasis in technical and professional writing. Now, I was six months pregnant when I graduated, so I honestly didn't start actively looking for a job until after my baby was born and I felt comfortable going to work full-time.  I'd say my serious job chasing didn't start until May 2012.   I've had six interviews since then, and after each one I regretted something I said or did almost immediately after the interview was over.

Nerves, man. They mess me up.

So here I am today, getting ready to hit the one year mark of my job chase.  I start to get discouraged fairly easily when I read yet another rejection email, or worse, I don't receive any acknowledgement that I applied to a job at all.  Reading through the qualifications of jobs is frustrating, because more often than not I don't even come close to measuring up to a company's needs.  All this negativity, there's gotta be something to learn from it.  What better way to learn than to write it out? It's kind of a win-win for me.  I learn from my experiences as I write, while gaining experience through writing!  Eh? And you? Well, you can read my posts and say things at the screen like, "Duh, Amber! I figured that out when I was ten!". 

Onward to bettering my job chase! Perhaps I can actually catch something before I hit my year mark.